The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
