gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So much rum. So many feels.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Randomize
