Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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