I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
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It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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