Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
