Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
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stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
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I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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