How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
