no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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