Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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