are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
