You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
