Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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