Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I cockslap morals
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
