You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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