Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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