she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
