Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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