I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
