how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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