my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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