dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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