You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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