I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
