Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
