Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Houston, we have a squirter
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
