Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
