there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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