Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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