it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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