SEEEEXXX PLEASE
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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