The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
