The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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