I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Houston, we have a squirter
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
