Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
