Can i not drive my cunt home
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
