How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
