The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
home. puking in laundry basket.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can