so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
