Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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