oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
