get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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