Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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