This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
