Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
