Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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