sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
stop calling my apartment porn island.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Found the puke drawer
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
