i don't like sucking hair
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
