Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
