...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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