just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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