Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
its not stalking. its research.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
