Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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