Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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