Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
