I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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