I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
