one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
