If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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