I'm eating all of the evidence.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
operation harelip BJ is a go
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
