Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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