I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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