This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
