capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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