Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
